Featured Image: Taba Nur Dogan on Pexels.com
Recently, I’ve noticed the narrative of doing things alone has shifted: people aren’t just coloring in their bedrooms or listening to podcasts as they walk. Nope, they are hardcore solo adventuring (we’re talking go-to-a-concert-alone adventuring).
As a social girlie who grew up in a big family, I usually try to avoid doing things alone. But now that I feel like an actual adult (I recently turned 22!) I’m beginning to accept that the only way I can enjoy my increasingly busy life to the fullest is to start doing things by myself.
The Perks of Being a (Solo) Wallflower
Despite being hesitant about spending time alone, there is something quite freeing about planning your schedule around only yourself. There doesn’t have to be a discussion about where to meet, when to get there, or what coffee shop people are in the mood for. From departure time to parking to seat selection, you have the final say.
With social media constantly being the backdrop of our everyday lives, it can be hard sometimes to actually know what we want as independent humans versus what we are being fed through media. Like, “Am I buying this because I like it or because I saw Acquired Style rock it in the Hamptons?” But when you choose to spend time by yourself, you actually have agency over every decision.
I’ve also noticed that I can pack a lot more into solo days. Without making every decision a conversation, my schedule could move more efficiently and seamlessly. Solo time can also force us to be more present in the world, reminding us just how big it actually is, and that we are surrounded by other humans living their own lives (crazy, right?!). Maybe it sounds as obvious as it is cliché, but there’s something beautiful about facing that fact as we get older.
Me-time has made me realize that making my own plans, turning away from influencers (both on my phone and IRL), and not always seeking others to be entertained can be quite enjoyable. So why not put it into practice?
Where are Me, Myself & I Going?
Since you are now convinced solo time is the next best thing, here are a few ideas for your next solo date:
- Treat Yourself: Showing yourself some love is a great way to spend time alone. It could be a lavish spa day (head spa, mani-pedi, back massage), or it could be TJMaxx press-ons and homemade face masks (throwback!).
- Try Something New: Think about something that recently piqued your interest and made you think, “I want to try that.” Was it a new latte with a massive cloud of cold foam or maybe a new thrift shop opened with a crazy denim collection? Take yourself there and experience it for the first time without someone else’s opinions and thoughts.
- Do Your Dream Date – So maybe you’re single right now, but that’s no excuse to not go on your dream date. Envision what it looks like and try it out solo. Who knows? You may actually realize that you would never want to meet up with a potential romantic partner there, and that is what we call boots-on-the-ground journalism.
Want to Make Your Me-Time Count?
So, you said “yes” to yourself, and now you’ve got a date. But let’s make sure you come back for another one; here are some ways you can secure a second date with your harshest critic: you.
#1: Embrace Your Niche
We all have that one little quirky thing that we are obsessed with. I’ve got friends who needlepoint, bedazzle, bake, scrapbook, or do something a little more out there (I love digging through the Goodwill bins). But sometimes, you cannot convince any of your friends to join in on the fun, and that’s totally OK. Why try to convince someone to be there when they’d probably rather embrace their own niche? Your solo date is the perfect excuse to embrace what you love, even if you’re the only person in the friend group who gets it.
#2: Fight Off Brain and Couch Rot
Taking time out of your busy schedule to do something by yourself can sometimes feel unproductive, but it doesn’t have to. If you feel like solo time is a waste, try doing something that makes your mind, body, or soul feel good. Read a book, get outside, break out a crossword (word games are lowkey making a comeback), or do some yoga in the park (yes, I have done this, and no, not that many people looked!). Moving your brain and body (or both) ensures that you will feel better than you did before your alone time.
#3: Stop Scrolling!
Let’s be honest, the easiest way to spend time with ourselves is scrolling on our phone. But now that we’re getting older, we are working on maturing and, with that, we are challenging ourselves to turn off the phone. When you go somewhere alone (yes, even a public space), I encourage you to put away the screen (we aren’t iPad children!). I can’t even remember the last time I let myself think without music or a TikTok playing in the background. It can be uncomfortable at first, but bringing a journal is a great way to start spending time with your thoughts without unnecessary distractions.
Whether it’s reading, trying a new restaurant, people-watching, or even taking some time to zone out and watch the grass grow, nothing is stopping you from making it a me-time event.
If it feels scary, take it slow, and start by making little decisions here and there to begin embracing yourself and your life. I’m personally not at the solo-concert adventuring level yet, but just remember: you are perfectly good company to hang out with. Table for one, please!
Looking for more ways to bloom? Click here.
